What would make you feel secure? What would make you feel significant?
Security – A sense of belonging, unconditional love, acceptance, connectedness, and protectedness.
Significance – A sense of value, importance, identity and separateness.
We were created with certain needs. Needs that only God can meet. When I attempt to do it “my way,” I am acting in the flesh or as the old man or old nature.
God is love. He designed you and me to need love so we would need HIM.
Knowing nothing of God, but needing to be loved, we tried to “milk” our need-supply out of people. Little kids, being totally self-centered, learn about themselves from the feedback they get from others: They do not learn about others. If Mom doesn’t hug them, they learn “I’m unlovely,” not “Mom has difficulty expressing physical affection.”
Our emotions began to be programmed by reacting to our belief system. We began to develop habit patterns that are programmed into our brain, patterns of thinking (mind), choosing (will), and feeling (emotions). These flesh patterns are currently how we get our needs meet our way.
“The women's needs can be summarized as the need for security… The men's needs can be summarized as the need for significance…”. His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley
Trying to meet these needs within our own strength will only result in frustration. In our own strength, we are too empty and needy ourselves to be able to meet anyone else's needs. Romans 8:6; 2 Corinthians 5:16
Source of Life Where Do I Look?
Tree of Life or Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil?
Genesis 2:8-9 “Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground – trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”
Genesis 2:15-17 “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.’”
Genesis 3:5-6 “’For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it…”
Genesis 3:22 “And the Lord God said, ‘The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.’” (NIV)
Philippians 4:19; John 7:38-39
"Lifetime Guarantee" Bill Gillham
"The Ins and Out of Rejection" Charles R. Solomon
“The Search For Significance” Robert S. McGee
“The Reach of God’s Love” audio MD 146 1996 Dr. Charles Stanley
“Toxic Love” Malcolm Smith
“Overcoming the Flesh” 6 audio Gillham
"Hiding Places" audio Patsy Clairmont, Focus on Family C5875 13351
Blackmon, Selma, editor. The Exchanged Life News. Volume 3 Issue 5. February 2, 2003.