How to get my needs met: false beliefs

"MYTHS" regarding my needs

 (formed from the sin nature + childhood perceptions of family, culture. school, religion, etc.)

(from the Parrotts):

* Everything in our relationship will get better

* Everything bad in my life will disappear

* We expect exactly the same things for marriage

* My spouse will make me whole (happy, content, peaceful, joyful) Plus.

* My spouse is to be my completes, otherwise, why marriage?

* I am entitled to my spouse giving me respect, appreciation, encouragement, listening .......... and

* If he/she doesn't, it is destructive to me. I can never get over this.

* If we don't verbally communicate about our emotions, we can't have intimacy.

* We become one person at the marriage union.

* I am entitled to my husband being the spiritual leader, and assuming his role as "head".

* I am entitled to my wife being submissive and compliant.

* I am entitled to my husband/wife meeting my sexual needs.

 

 "MYTHS" regarding my needs

* I am responsible for my "other's" emotional well-being", so

* I am responsible for "seeing to it" that he/she is content, that the "waters are calmed", and for "fixing" (or giving solutions) and making things right (because)

* "My peace and emotional well-being is dependent on my spouse and others being O.K.

and on their opinions ...... and

* Then I will have acceptance and love and know I am of worth.

* I need a person (spouse) to be O.K.

or, * I am entitled to him/her making things O.K., making decisions for me, and keeping me on track, (so I can avoid being criticized and thus, avoid bean,- less than perfect)

* I must be perfect and avoid seeming a failure so I will be loved.

* My security is to be found in my mate's behaviors (emotional, financial, physical, etc.)

* If my husband/wife doesn't appreciate me, it means I'm not worthy of love.

* I am entitled to my husband/wife giving me space to make mistakes, to be my own person without her/him trying to change, criticize or ignore me.

* Our relationship must be fair, and I can't accept that I am not entitled to what the Lord commands my wife/husband to do and be.

* My unhappiness is my spouse's (or my circumstances') fault.

These beliefs (can lead to behaviors that can look good or bad. They lead to

 

CONTROL, MANIPULATION, false submission or domination

 

Hurt, rage, arguing, whining, pouting, dependency, unforgiveness, anxiety, hopelessness, depression, illness, irresponsibility

  Answers to MYTHS: John 8:32 and John 14:6

God's Grace

IT IS ALWAYS ALL OF GRACE!

    When we learn about grace we learn what life is all about.  We learn about who we are.  But more importantly we learn about who God is, what the gospel is and our relationship with Him.  We enter into a dimension of life we never dreamed possible.  Nothing is changed and yet everything is changed.  Grace is not just getting what you don't deserve.  Grace is getting the opposite of what you deserve.  Grace is not just another doctrine.  Grace is the way God relates to us.  Grace is the gospel as the bible says (Acts 20:24).  What is grace?

1. Grace is knowing that there is no more guilt, condemnation and punishment (Rom, 8:2).

2. Grace is knowing that God loves me and accepts me just the way I am not because of what I do, but because of the cross (Rom. 5:5-8).

3. Grace is knowing that Satan was defeated at the cross and has no power over me and the only weapon he has is the lie. (Col. 2:15).

4. Grace is knowing that because I died to the law and have been released from it (Rom. 7:4,6), I don't have to live up to anyone's standards.

5. Grace is knowing that I am not under law but under grace (Rom. 6:14) and that Christ is the end of the law (Rom. 10:4), it is not up to me to live the Christian life, but to trust Christ in me to do it (Gal. 2:20).

6. Grace is knowing that there is nothing I can do to make God love me more and nothing I could do to make him love me less (Rom. 8:39).

7. Grace is knowing that Jesus said that all who come to Him will find that the Christian life is easy and their burden is light (Matt. 11:28-30).

8. Grace is knowing that it is not up to me to do or die or strive and strain, but to believe that He will do it all for me (1 Thess. 5:24).

9. Grace is knowing that my sin and failure cannot overcome the grace of God (contrary to popular belief) (Rom. 5:20,21).

10. Grace is knowing that no matter what I do or how I mess up, God is going to love me through all eternity (Rom. 11:6; 1 John 3:1; 1 John 4:6).

11. Grace is knowing that I have all I need because Christ is in me and I am in Him and He is in the Father (John 14:20).

12. Grace is knowing that freedom is my birthright as a child of God and not something I have to attain (Gal. 5:1; John 8:32,36).

13. Grace is knowing that I am dead to sin and alive to God because of what God has done and nothing that I do (Rom. 6:4-7).

14. Grace is knowing that I am righteous because God has placed me in Christ and not because of anything I do (I Cor. 1:30; 2 Cor. 5:21).

15. Grace is knowing that I have died to the world, it's customs, ways, values and people's demands and expectations of me (Gal. 6:13).

16. Grace is knowing that the important thing is not what I do or don't do, but faith in what God has done and who I am in Christ (Gal. 6:5,14).

17. Grace is knowing that I am secure in Christ, that I do not have to fear any person and that He will never leave me or forsake me (Heb. 13:5,6).

18. Grace is knowing that Christ is my life; that my life is hidden in Him and I have everything I need for life and godliness (Col. 3:3,4; 2 Pet. 1:3).

19. Grace is knowing that victory is not something to work for, but it has already been given to me (1 Cor. 15:56; Eph.2:6; Eph 1:19-21).

We have just waded into the vast, limitless ocean of God's grace.  The list is endless and we will spend the rest of eternity adding to our list.

 material taken from www.freefromadiction.com

Freedom in Christ

What keeps Christians from being free?

Brokenness-haven’t come to the end of self and still have some confidence in their own resources and abilities. A good indication of this is when they say, “Tell me what to do!”

Unforgiveness-#1 way Satan robs us of our freedom. Most people have some unresolved anger. Forgiveness is God’s only way to deal with it. Unforgiveness=bondage (Eph. 4:26, 27).

Do Not Accept Themselves Just The Way They Are-Need to realize that God accepts them just the way they are, forgive themselves, and accept themselves.

Trying to Get Feelings to Line Up with the Truth-Which will never happen because freedom is experienced when we live by faith in the truth, regardless of our feelings.

Fail to Distinguish between Flesh and the Real You-The flesh constantly wars against the Spirit, but that is NOT who we are-we are not addicts, perfectionists, anorexics, etc.

An Inadequate Understanding of Grace-Do not know they are dead to the law, and everything is permissible, and are still trying to perform and measure up to get their acceptance and worth.

Wrong Concept of God-Don’t know that God accepts them as they are and has not changed as a result of their sin.

Never Appropriated Their True Identity in Christ-It is must information to them and/or they are still holding on to a false identity in the flesh. We always act consistently with how we perceive ourselves.

Have Not Learned to resist Satan-Do not understand spiritual warfare and that Satan was defeated at the cross, and we have authority over him and the demonic.

Have not Learned to Discipline Their Minds-No consistent victory unless we take every thought captive and renew our minds by thinking on what is true, noble, pure, right, etc.

Could this be you or someone you know looking for answers?

Would you like to learn more about:

v  The problem of strongholds

v  God’s solution to strongholds

v  Freedom from the past

v  The lies that keep us in bondage

v  The truth that sets and keeps us free

v  The price of freedom

Would you like to find freedom in you life from issues such as:

v  Addiction & Codependency

v  Anger & Bitterness

v  Perfectionism & Workaholism

v  Low Self-esteem

v  Eating Disorders, Gambling, and Other Compulsive Behaviors

v  Depression & Irrational Fears

v  Sex Addiction & Pornography

v  Stress & Anxiety

v  Strongholds

v  Habitual Sins\Negative Thoughts

v  Broken Relationships

Material gleaned from Freedom From Addiction Workshop by Mike and Julia Quarles. www.ficm.org

What is your life's purpose?

For by grace are ye saved through faith: and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:Not of works, lest any man should boast.For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:8-10

    Those who know and follow God's direction will experience spiritual peace, joy, and contentment. To discover our life's purpose, the first step-which makes all the other steps possible-is to receive Jesus Christ as our personal Savior. In other words, we must be saved.
    Our part in salvation is to acknowledge we are sinners-to admit to God that we've lived in rebellion against Him because we wanted our own way (Romans 3:23). Professing our belief that Jesus' death on the cross fully paid our sin debt, we ask God's forgiveness.
    Recognizing Jesus as personal Savior and Lord, we commit our life to Him (Romans 10:9; Galatians 2:20; 1 John 1:9). Since He is now in charge, our orders and direction will come from Him. Having become part of God's family, we have His Spirit to help us discover and carry out our Father's plan.
    God's purpose for His children includes sanctification, stewardship, and service. Sanctification describes continual growth in holiness. The Holy Spirit, with our cooperation, will transform our character to be more like the Lord's. Stewardship means managing-according to God's priorities-the time, talents, and treasure He has given us. And service for the kingdom is to mark our life, as it marked the life of Jesus (Matthew 20:28). We serve our Father by obediently ministering to others.
    As we each seek the Lord's specific plan for us, we can be confident that it will include character transformation, investment of our resources for His kingdom, and ministry to others.
Stanley, Charles F. daily devotions from the sermons of Charles F. Stanley. In Touch. Atlanta, GA. Jan. 2, 2014. page 44.

Exchanged Life: Enduring Love

"Remain in my love."

John 15:9

    Are you interested in praying a prayer that could revolutionize your life? Try this: Begin each day by asking God a series of questions.

• Lord, how can I love you today?
• What act of worship can I do?
• What words can I utter that will honor and bless You?
• What act of service can I do to represent Your love?
• How would Your Spirit inspire me to pray today?

    If you ask questions like this and watch for ways God might answer throughout your days, you'll find something happening deep within your soul. You'll find that worship becomes a lifestyle. You'll find that your faith becomes less centered on you and more centered on God. You'll find that the greatest commandment-to love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind-becomes your greatest desire. If you think your relationship with God is cold and passionless, you'll find it melting, in the warmth of His favor. You'll experience His love in deeper ways than you ever have.

    If God created us for worship and commanded us to love Him with all that's in us, it stands to reason that He would answer, with His abundant grace and power, a prayer designed to fulfill that purpose. We spend so much time asking Him to meet our perceived needs that we miss our real need-to know Him in intimacy and to adore Him in worship. Once that need is met, all others find their proper place. But this one is first. When we pray like this, we agree with God on His highest priority for us.

    Try praying this prayer several days in a row. See how God answers it. Make it your personal agenda each day to live for Him in worship and love. Everything else you have ever sought God for will either fade away in irrelevance or be graciously provided by the One who was waiting for you to put first things first. His love is enduring, His fellowship is sweet, and He's really all we need.

"All is vanity but to love God and serve Him." Thomas a Kempis

Tiegreen, Chris. The One Year at HIS feet devotional. Tyndale House Publishers: Carol Stream, IL. Dec 29. page 363

God's love: the love of God

"For God so loved the world [you and me] that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever [you and me] believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

     What does it really mean to "believe" in Jesus? Is it simply an acknowledgment that He is Lord and Savior? Does it just pertain to eternal life-that sweet by-and-by? Or is it more comprehensive than that?

     Jesus said that the work of God is for us to believe in the One He has sent (John 6:29). But what does it say of our belief when we

• ask for His forgiveness and then work for His favor and wonder if His grace is enough to cover all we've done?
• ask Him to take care of our burdens and then fret about them incessantly and wallow in insecurity?
• ask Him to intervene in our circumstances and then manipulate them ourselves in order to get a better outcome?
• ask that His kingdom come and then panic about current events and prophecies of the end times?
• ask that His will be done and then tell Him specifically what our will is and why He ought to accomplish it?

    These are all inner contradictions we'll find in our faith from time to time. We say we believe in Jesus-not just for salvation, but all it entails-but we might do well to ask ourselves occasionally if we really do. For people who have been promised provision, protection, comfort, guidance, forgiveness, salvation, and more, we spend an awful lot of time concerned with just those things. If we say we believe, but act as if we don't, which is a truer reflection of our real beliefs? Words or the attitudes of our hearts?

    Paul strongly warned the Corinthian believers: "Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves" (2 Corinthians 13:5). It is good advice, no matter how long we've been Christians. Our human tendency is to walk by sight, not by faith. But genuine belief is God's only accepted currency. Check yours frequently.

"The issue of faith is not so much whether we believe in God, but whether we believe the God we believe in." R.C. Sproul

Tiegren, Chris. The One Year at HIS feet Devotional. Tyndale House Publishers: Carol Stream, IL. December 18. page 352.

May God bless you as you allow Jesus Christ to be your complete life this New Year.

Selma